Bob takes a walk...

Sam

Sam dreams of being a country music star but instead shovels pasta and hot wings in the tourism trough called Times Square. A New Orleans transplant, she now lives between a catbox and a lamp on her friend's couch. Her favorite movie is Erin Brockovich. She's missing a toe and she wears sandals often.

Joe

He is no one's favorite. He is curt and arrogant in conversation. Aggravated is his general mood. He is a pillar of snotty drunkeness and his "regular" status at the bar is worn loud. Joe will not buy you a drink and he knows better than anyone how the neighborhood used to be. He's a dick, and he can be yours. Available in all sizes.

The Smiths

The Smiths are bar owners and part-time carnies. This is how they look. You can bump into them at any time deep in the bowels of Chinatown. Sometimes they venture up to Soho. Keep your distance. Or, wear them. Available in all sizes.

Vince

Hank said it best: "Vince just aint right in the head." It's true. But he does like the Yankees and Werner Hertzog films. Vince does most of his drinking before noon and he speaks to no one. It's believed he lives on the Bowery. Vince is always in style. Try him on. Available in all sizes.

Barb

She's friendly until about 10:30pm when her meds wear off. Barb is everyone's best friend and you can buy her a drink to prove it. Gin and bitters or nothing for her. She enjoys sitting in Washington Square Park hoping for NYU film students to discover her with their 16mm. She'll keep you warm at night. Available in all sizes.

Hank

You might know Hank. He's an ambassador of ill-will and barroom brawls. Cigarette sandwiches and scotch keep him from falling down. When he sleeps, we're all a little safer. Have him over tonight. He's fun. Available in all sizes.